THIS TOPIC IS A VERY SERIOUS ONE AND COMES FROM SOMEONE WITH A PERSONAL CONNECTION TO THE TOPIC. IF YOU CANNOT STAND IT, DON'T READ IT! SPARE ME YOUR SPAM ABOUT EMOS.

Alright deviantART, this is how it goes. Every year, in the month of November, a journal goes up related to suicide, which we know is a touchy subject to many people. This journal is going up early, because it's not even November yet and we're already dying inside.

Three years ago myself and roughly twelve others lost a very dear friend to suicide. To clear the stereotypical emo girl in your head I know you just pictured: She was 15, tall, skinny, long brown hair, cheerleader, and a popular girl. Behind her school friends and her popularity, she was an abused, neglected child. November, three years ago, she decided she had enough. She asked for her friends to help her, but we could do nothing. Sarah committed suicide at the age of 15 on November 21st, 2006. Just a few days before Thanksgiving.

I always write this journal for you, deviantART. The fact that it's coming to you early this year should emphasize something.

It should emphasize how incredibly painful this experience is to all of us who lived it. To this day, three years later, we are STILL blaming ourselves, we are STILL grieving, and we are STILL visiting her grave on a monthly basis.

We did not know what to do in her time of need, and a suicide is an event I hope none of you will ever experience. The lasting effects on "Suicide Survivors" is incredibly profound. Incredibly. This is why every year I devote a journal to it; I don't know who you are, where you are, or whether or not you even care...but if this can help so much as ONE person....I'll know my attempt wasn't in vain.


*Take the person to guidance, a therapist, or if it needs be, the police. Therapists’ and police know how to do their jobs, and guidance will be willing to help direct the person in the right way.

*Talk with them as much as possible. Get the person to express as much feelings as they can. Keeping it bottled inside can be harmful.

*Talk with their parents. Get your own involved. Peer pressure can sometimes be a lovely thing.

*Don't be afraid to search for solutions. Many organizations for Suicide Prevention exist:
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

Let's throw some statistics at those who are skeptical...
[link]

You're thinking to yourself by now "Why am I reading this? I already know about all this stuff...we talked about it in school"

So did we. Sarah's suicide affected about twelve people in our circle of friends, as well as a possible numerous others. And guess what? We had already heard about it all. And yet, we choked.

My goal here is to ask you to please, don't be like us. Don't choke when your loved one becomes suicidal. The aftermath is not a wonderful world...

It's hard to say it, but it's time to say it.
Good-bye, good-bye.

R.I.P. Sarah - November 21, 2006.
It is yet Another November, and we've not forgotten.

Love, Rob
~Th3-Crownless

So, I wanted to get rid of my previous journal entry, but didn't have anything to write about..so..here ya go.

1. Name, please.
Rob.

2. Approximate Age?
18.

3. Are you happy in your life?
No.

4. Do you feel like anything is missing? If so, what do you want?
Yes....I want too much to list.

5. Do you plan on being a musician/artist/writer?
A photographer would be nice. I do plan to publish a book (I don't even care how popular it is, I just want it published.)

6. Do you think you are artistic?
Yes.

7. Have you ever tried hard drugs?
Tired? Yes.

8. If so, have they changed your life?
No.

9. What age would you like to die?
I have no idea....

10. Would you let your kids smoke weed?
Hell no.

11. Are you an angry person?
No - it actually takes a lot to piss me off.

12. Do you laugh a lot, but don’t really mean it?
Yeah.

13. Do you like to think you are popular?
I know I'm popular.

14. Describe your most terrifying dream.
I'd rather not....but, I'll say it was bloody and haunting.

15. What band would you die to see live?
Nightwish. Forever and always.

16. How would you like to die?
Peacefully..

17. What’s your opinion on self-mutilation?
Don't do it.

18. Do you believe in capitalism?
I guess.

19. Communism?
Sucks.

20. Libertarianism?
Sucks.

21. Would you rather be an anarchist or a socialite?
Anarchist.

22. Freedom of speech or controlled society?
Freedom of speech.

23. Obama or Bush?
Obama fo yo momma.

24. Would you consider yourself intelligent?
Yes, when I want to be.

25. When was the last time you cried?
Uhm, two nights ago..

26. When was the last time you laughed?
About 2 hours ago.

27. Who is your last text from?
Kasey.

28. What did it say?
"haha i h8 u!! u cant get it b4 me!"

29. Ever had your ass kicked?
Yes.

30. What’s your middle name?
Thomas.

31. Single or taken?
Taken <3

32. If taken, do you love this person?
Uhm yeah. More than anything.

33. If single, what are you looking for in someone?

34. Sex or love?
Both?

35. Who is your best friend?
Some gay kid.

36. Why is this person your best friend?
'Cuz he's awesome.

37. Are you moody?
Uh, I can be.

38. Are you depressed?
Clinically.

39. What do you think of abortion?
Pro-choice.

40. Are you in a good mood today?
No.

41. If not, why are you not?
I'm anxious. And worried.

42. Are you afraid of the swine flu?
No. I like bacon.

43. Are you afraid to be yourself?
No.

44. What would you label yourself?
God.

45. Do you live with your parents?
No.

46. How many siblings do you have?
Uhm, 2...sort of. Only 1 is alive.

47. Do you wear skinny jeans?
LOL never.

48. Are you emo?
I'm emoTIONAL...Emo? Idk.

49. Are you aware that all emo kids look exactly the same?
No, they actually don't. But good try douche.

50.Are you a hater?
Yes. And I admit it. Because I can take the people I hate.

51. Are you anti-rasict?
No, I am racist.

52. Explain your personality in 3 words.
Easy-going, cautious, determined.

53. What do you wish your name was?
Rob.

54. How old do you want to be when you get married?
Uhm, at least 21, so we can have some drinks. But, we'll see.

55. What do you want to name your kids?
Girl - Amanda. Boy - Jacob.

56. What kind of hairstyle do you want?
My hairstyle. (Surfer)

57. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?
About 4:45 AM.

58. What are you wearing right now?
Clothes (Surprisingly.)

59. Say something random.
Pineapple.

60. What do you wear to bed?
Boxers and a digital watch.

61. What color is your underwear?
Many.

62. Am I getting too personal?
No.

63. What’s your view on nihilism?
Makes sense to me, but idk if I could ever be a Nihilist.

64. Pacifism?
I could never do it. I enjoy fighting too much.

65. Do you think the drug culture is misunderstood?
No.

66. Are you a fan of Hunter S Thompson?
No?

67. Do you read literature?
Yes - you can't be a writer if you never read.

68. Do you love horror movies?
Yes - I often laugh at them.

69. What’s your favourite one?
Bread & Breakfast!!!

70. Do you like comedies?
Yes.

71. Are you a smoker?
Yes.

72. Do you smoke cigars/cigarillos?
No.

73. Do you have anger problems?
No.

74. Do you know someone who has a mental illness?
Yes.

75. Have you had someone close to you die of cancer?
Yes...

76. What do you want to be next Halloween?
Idk, maybe Fred Jones.

77. What grade are you in?
College Freshmen.

78. When do you graduate?
2013.

79. Do you talk to yourself?
Yes. Then I talk to myself about talking to myself.

80. What color are your toenails?
Unpainted.

81. Has anyone ever told you you have a nice smile?
Yes.

82. Nice eyes?
Yes.

83. Ever broken a bone?
Yes.

84. Got a black eye?
Yes.

85. Nose bleed?
Yes.

86. Ever been so mad you cried?
Yes.

87. What’s your favourite quote?
"Atlas was permitted the opinion that he was at liberty, if he wished, to drop the Earth and creep away; but this opinion was all that he was permitted" - Franz Kafka

88. Are you listening to anything right now?
"Tom Sawyer" - Rush

89. What are you addicted too?
Mountain Dew.

90. Do you like silver hair?
I guess?

91. Would you ever fight a famous boxer?
Bring it.

92. Could you take on kimbo slice?
Who? Let's find out.

93. Can you even fist fight?
...Can you, arrogant fool? I've got training and actual fights under my belt, what do you have?

94. Do you work out?
Yes - every day.

95. Are you in good physical condition?
No, I only have an 8 pack.

96. Do you get creeped out by puppets?
Yes...

97. If you could be any celebrity by one day, who would you be?
Steven Spielberg, because he is god.

98. Do you have any phobias?
Needles, Heights, Dolls, Puppets, The Jonas Brothers

99. Ever been mauled by a wild animal?
No.

100. Do you think you could be a Suicide Girl?
...A what?

101. What about a playboy bunni?
Could I BE a Playboy Bunni.......?

102. Are you an insomniac?
Yes.

103. Do you take birth control?
No?

104. Are these questions pointless?
Yes, and the test maker is arrogant.

105. Favourite color?
Red.

106. Pce out!
It's "peace". Kthxbai.

Rob,
~T3C

Well, deviantART, it's time.

I am offically moving out, and heading off to college.
I can't say how much time I'll have on my hands, but I promise to visit old friends, and keep up with my work.

<3

**AN IMPORTANT NOTICE**
I am also reverting ~Th3-Crownless back to the type of account it was originally intended to be - writing.

Starting tonight (I'm hoping I can find the time soon), ALL PHOTOGRAPHY AND ARTWORK WILL BE DELETED FROM ~TH3-CROWNLESS AND RE-SUBMITTED ONTO A NEW ACCOUNT, ~SIDE-REAL. [link]

Eventually, each of my watcher will recieve a note/post/comment again re-enfocing this gigantic move of all of my Photos....

My reason for this is my own. It seems complicated, and insane, but I have a reason.

I'm sure I'll lose the most of the support I've gained from you guys here, but I'd like to say I've learned a lot.

~Th3-Crownless: Poetry and Prose.
~Side-Real: Photography and Artwork.

Until later,
Rob,
~T3C

So I've decided to use my short break from life to let all you deviants know that I'll be cleaning up my gallery soon. One thing that I know will go for definite is a story called Raze. For one, it hasn't gotten much attention, secondly, I hate it, and thirdly, I need to work on it more.

Other than that, a few old photos and drawings may be gone...sorry to everyone who had those favorited in advance. And thank you.

Rob,
~T3C

There's a lot I'd like to say in this journal - but there is one thing I want to start with. And that is To Write Love On Her Arms [link]

For those who don't know, To Write Love On Her Arms is a growing non-profit organization addressing and reaching out to people with experiences in drug addiction, depression, self-harm, and suicide. There was a girl in my life who fit into these categories once. As what they call a "Suicide Survivor", TWLOHA has touched the hearts of not only myself, but everyone involved at the time this girl was alive. I am writing not to ask you to donate to this cause, but only to be aware of those around you. To be aware of those in a state of depression, and of those inflicting self-harm, so that no-one has to go through the loss that we experienced.

As a less depressing, and less serious matter, it looks as though I may get back into keeping up a Dream Journal again. It is against my will, but I'll be looking at this as a chance to hone my writing skills. Perhaps some of them will be posted here.

Speaking of writing, I still plan to continue working on Raze. Raze has now connected with my drawing skills (which need working on...) - I would love to make Raze into a manga later, as I think it'd be a much better story in such a form. And thus, I also plan to work a lot on my drawing skills.

As far as Photography goes, I've recently hit 200 deviations. Congrats to me. I'm still unsure of my SLR's status (it might need servicing...and it's not under a warranty...) so I'm not quite sure what'll be going on with Photo's. Maybe a few backyard pictures with my little point-and-shoot, but I can't see any mind blowing photography coming anytime soon.

College begins August 29th. I'm still debating on setting up a print account.

Cheers.
Rob,
~T3C